Post- Op Day 3

18 July
Post-op Day 3

Again, the pain this morning was awful, so bad that I really didn't sleep even with the drugs I was taking.  Most of the night I sat sitting on the edge of the bed hunched over the rolling table in the room with my amazing nurse Amelia and sister rubbing my back, trying to help make me comfortable.  

In the morning my surgeon came, checked my sites, and the area that was hurting so much.  He was concerned about it this morning.  Thinking there was an infection he immediately had the room prepped for a bedside procedure to check for infection and release fluid and pressure.  About an hour later the procedure began.

I was so nervous, tense, and anxious.  I was reassured it would not hurt.  My on-Q pump was numbing the surface of my abdomen, and a lidocaine shot was used for deeper tissue.  I put my eye mask on, and told the doctor and my mother to NOT tell me what was happening.  I felt nothing.  He had made about a 4 inch deep incision...yuck.  It bled a lot even though it was packed with gauze, but no pain.

About 20 minutes after the procedure my debilitating pain was gone.  I was up and around much easier, moving was comfortable, and I felt so much better.  The pressure below the bruis was a build up of blood and fluid, but there was no infection.  YAY!

This meant I had to stay in the hospital one more night.  Augh.  I wanted to go home, I missed my bed, I MISSED MY PUPPIES, I missed snuggling with my honey at home!

I started to have thoughts like--
what if this doesn't work...
what if I fail...
what if I can't do this...
what if everything was for nothing...

I had to get out of my own head, I walked and walked and walked.  I walked till I couldn't handle one more step. in fact I went so far that my lo-jack (whatever the thing that was attached to all the monitors on my chest set an alarm off on my nurse's phone...and people were looking for me.  Oooops.)

I walked until I felt better, calmer, and more centered.

This was strange day.