Post-op 5 months + 15 days

Hello there friends!  I has been a long time since I’ve checked in here…but that doesn’t mean anything other than I have been B-U-S-Y finishing my first semester of grad school.  And I made it out alive!  Better than alive really.  I thrived this semester in ways I hadn’t in a long time.

Onward!  My progress has been great so far as far as my doctor is concerned I’m doing really well.  This makes me very happy.   I think I'm doing pretty great too!

 

Drum Roll please… to date I have lost 117 pounds.

WHAT IS THAT??  That’s crazy really.

It’s great, but it’s crazy too.

5 months out from surgery and my brain is still trying to keep up.  I’m doing better, but it is still a struggle to see myself as I am.  Here’s the problem.  I don’t feel like I look any different, but I do ( I mean maybe I do a little bit seeing as though I chopped my hair off and bleached the shit out of it—love it!).  The thing is-- MY BRAIN is telling me “This is what you always looked like” when I look in the mirror.  Guess what…I DIDN’T.

We took the picture on the left in May 2013, the one on the right this month-Dec 2013.

Looking at old pictures I’m actually shocked at how fat and unhealthy I was.  I am doing so much better now, so much.  

+ My high-blood pressure is under control with the help of one medicine, not three.   

+My sleep-apnea has become more manageable (I even fell asleep the other day without my mask on…and did not gasp).  

+I am able to walk for as long as I need to.

+My husband and I have begun hiking again, and not just the really easy ones.  

At Mary's Rock Summit in the Shenandoah National Park

+We have been riding bikes in a few local-ish places, trails near the quarry in town, and in the battlefields.  In fact, we went on a ride Christmas day and decided that was a new tradition for our little family!  (my husband & I)

Me riding (and almost running my husband over as he took the picture) on Christmas day 2013

+++We are having more healthy fun than we have had in years…all because I am ABLE to participate again.+++

Make sure you check out My Progress in Pictures page, I've put a few more shots up.

Post- Op Day 3

18 July
Post-op Day 3

Again, the pain this morning was awful, so bad that I really didn't sleep even with the drugs I was taking.  Most of the night I sat sitting on the edge of the bed hunched over the rolling table in the room with my amazing nurse Amelia and sister rubbing my back, trying to help make me comfortable.  

In the morning my surgeon came, checked my sites, and the area that was hurting so much.  He was concerned about it this morning.  Thinking there was an infection he immediately had the room prepped for a bedside procedure to check for infection and release fluid and pressure.  About an hour later the procedure began.

I was so nervous, tense, and anxious.  I was reassured it would not hurt.  My on-Q pump was numbing the surface of my abdomen, and a lidocaine shot was used for deeper tissue.  I put my eye mask on, and told the doctor and my mother to NOT tell me what was happening.  I felt nothing.  He had made about a 4 inch deep incision...yuck.  It bled a lot even though it was packed with gauze, but no pain.

About 20 minutes after the procedure my debilitating pain was gone.  I was up and around much easier, moving was comfortable, and I felt so much better.  The pressure below the bruis was a build up of blood and fluid, but there was no infection.  YAY!

This meant I had to stay in the hospital one more night.  Augh.  I wanted to go home, I missed my bed, I MISSED MY PUPPIES, I missed snuggling with my honey at home!

I started to have thoughts like--
what if this doesn't work...
what if I fail...
what if I can't do this...
what if everything was for nothing...

I had to get out of my own head, I walked and walked and walked.  I walked till I couldn't handle one more step. in fact I went so far that my lo-jack (whatever the thing that was attached to all the monitors on my chest set an alarm off on my nurse's phone...and people were looking for me.  Oooops.)

I walked until I felt better, calmer, and more centered.

This was strange day.

Post-Op Day 2

17 July
Post-op Day 2

I woke up in so much pain.  Like so much.  I couldn't get out of the bed on my own that morning.  Like 14 on a scale of 1-10.  I wasn't sure what it was, but it was certainly near the instrument insertion site, above and beside it on the front of my abdomen.  When my surgeon visited he looked at it and thought it looked pretty normal but would check it all again the next morning.

Again lots of walking.  But today was also filled with LOTS of visitors.  Some of my favorite people were there, with smiles, laughter, jokes, encouraging words, and even some flowers!  I have some really great friends that are really more like family; supportive, loving, concerned, and thoughtful.

Great day.

Post Surgery Day 1

16 July
Post-op Day 1

Waking up after a pretty restful night (thank you drugs) even though I took a few late night strolls was nice.  Having my mom there was even nicer.  Growing up I was a pretty crappy kid (and still am a jerky adult to my mom sometimes).  I can't remember being more grateful for my mom than I am right now, having her with me through this.  She has been totally supportive and really helped me like crazy at the hospital.

The day went pretty well, I was sore, but really pretty good.  I had the best. nurse. ever. during each day I was there.  Richard was my day nurse.  There is no better nurse out there.  He was kind, accommodating (even when I was difficult), on top of EVERYTHING, and never, not even once left me hanging.

My surgeon visited twice that day to check up on me.  The first time I was sleeping so he chatted with my mom.  The second time he dropped the bomb on me.  The reason I had felt like it was late getting to the PACU was because...it was.  There had been a complication.  He had made a mistake.  A pretty significant one apparently- according to him.  He explained the problem, but also explained how he has caught it.  I was thankful he saw the mistake before there was a REAL problem.  He fixed everything carefully and thoroughly.

I was upset.  I cried.  I was angry.  I was confused.  This was one of the best surgeons out there, he studied under the best, learned from a pioneer in the bariatric surgery community of doctors, he has completed hundreds of surgeries and has an amazing track record of successful surgeries, he is a partner at the premiere bariatric office in hundreds of miles.

I was confident that everything was fine after the surgery, even after hearing this news, and thankfully I have had no complications due to this.

I walked, I rested, I dozed off taking to my parents and sister.  NOT because they were boring, but the drugs I was on really made me drowsy.

Pretty easy day.

Surgery Day

So...I start a new blog to journal my experience living my life.... and then I drop off the face of the earthfor two weeks.

What is that?

That is me taking time to heal, learn some of my new limits and generally focus on taking care of myself 100%.

Guess what?  I'm  ready to share what's been up!

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15 July
Surgery day

I was lucky to be my surgeon's first surgery of the day, and I guess my doc likes to sleep in because I didn't have to be at the hospital til 9:50a (ha ha ha).  That was kinda nice, because I was able to spend the morning with my husband and pups. 

After I arrived at the hospital, they took me immediately to the pre-op area-- no waiting around at all.  This is when I started to get nervous, like in tears nervous.  My mom had come back with me, and the only thing I really remember about those first few minutes is asking mom if she REALLY, REALLY thought I was doing the best thing for me.  I knew I wanted to do the surgery, but some how still wanted my mommy to tell me yes!  And she did.  The critical care nurse inside her was supportive and SURE this was the best move.

After a barrage of nurses, anesthesia, and Doctor's questions, as well as prodding, poking, needles and an I.V. filled with relaxing drugs, it was time to go in.  11:50 on the dot.  I kissed my husband, hugged my mom and dad, and squeezed my sister's hand.  They wheeled me away, I was asleep before we even entered the operating room.

I woke up in the PACU around 5:30, I thought, man it's late, I really slept, but had no real concept of time in the whole scheme of things.  I stayed there for about 2 hours, and got to my room at 8p.  My husband stayed late into the night, but before I had the surgery I told him I wanted him to go to work as usual, and then just take a half day the day I was released.  My mom and sister took turns staying at the hospital with me at night.

(The dogs needed to be loved on by him, although my sister took great care of them during the day, they needed to snuggle with daddy at night.  Plus he works about 5 miles from the hospital so he was able to come for about 2 hours at lunch every day, and right back after work.  Love that man.)

So I met my nurse, and slept till 11p.  That's when I took my first walk.  One circle around the floor, Amelia (my nurse) said that was great.  I felt okay, sore, but okay.  I slept till 230a and my mom and I took another stroll.  Not as far this time but at least I got going. I slept some more.  I was given pain meds. every two hours via I.V. so my pain was well controlled and I was able to relax a bit.

Okay, more tomorrow.